


Thinking

by hltoshl



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst?, Other, first fic, im trash, let me live, yes yes i know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 06:59:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11076408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hltoshl/pseuds/hltoshl





	Thinking

"Easy, love." He crooned, gently wedging his fingers into your intense grip on his hair. Your jaw ached from being clenched, only now realizing the subconscious death handle you had on his azure locks. Relaxing your facial muscles (which continued to ache a bit), you smoothed out his downy-like hair a bit, "Sorry, D. I was, uh, thinkin' a bit." His frown almost matched yours, although his wasn't as deep-set. You had been a bit distant and, usually, Stuart would brush it off a bit as he did the same often. But it's gotten to the point of you holding things only to slowly compress them, your face set and scowling. Unknowingly, you've hurt a few people before, always feeling guilty afterwards as you see them wince when you release their hand.  
Being worried was an understatement for the blue-haired lad, he was almost scared. Not of you, of course, but that soon you would start thinking about destroying yourself instead of others.  
He didn't know what you were thinking, and you him. You both just had a feeling you both felt the same about your declining well being.  
"Hey, do you ever..." You swallowed a bit, absentmindedly twirling a strand of blue around your fingers, "ever feel.. Destructive for no reason? Like, random anger?"  
He was taken aback at how small your voice sounded, but answered anyways, "Not usually, no. I mean, I do have my moments of frustration. Why do you ask?" He rasped, flicking the ash off of the end of his cigarette. A breathless laugh breezed past his ear as he felt you shift to lay your head on his shoulder.  
"I think it's a bit obvious."  
"I think it's not if I don't understand." He teased, raising his cig to his lips. He didn't expect you to snatch the cigarette mid-inhale, causing him to jump and splutter. Effectively choking on smoke, he leaned down a bit, all while moving in front of you, coughing hoarsely. With watery eyes, he lifted his head to weakly glare at you, but it vanished when he saw how bad your hand was trembling.  
His eyebrows slanted, any snide comments that was about to come up vanished.  
"Birdy?"  
"I keep doing it." Your lowered gaze and blank face revealed nothing about what you felt to him.  
"I keep hurting you. Everyone. Why am I so..?" You looked up with a small sniff, eyes cloudy and tearful. Your free hand furiously rubbed at your face, a grunt escaping your once-more clenched teeth.  
"Love." He inched closer, his hand close to yours.  
You moved.  
"I'm a horrible person. I have no idea how to handle my thoughts and feelings and.. And I end up taking it out on people that don't deserve it!" Your eyes are wild, your fingers squeezing the cigarette between them. With your quick movement, the gathering ash fell onto your pants.  
With a hiss, you swiped it away, stomping on the cigarette afterwards.  
Stuart swallowed.  
He'd seen this before. Not with you, no.  
But..  
But with Murdoc.  
This is he part where he would've braced for the bottle that was to shatter over his head. Or try to block any punches.  
Everything changed contrast quite a bit, you stopping to stare with a quivering lip.  
"I'm scaring you." You state, closing your hand into a tight fist. You scoot forward your fingers reaching out and brushing against his cheek. He wished he hadn't flinched.  
"No, you're not." Everything was too bright, it was hurting his head.  
"Stu, your eyes."  
He pulled you to him, ignoring the fluttering feeling in his stomach. He was scared.

You were thinking. He was thinking. Your thoughts both very different.

You didn't want to hurt others anymore.

He didn't want to lose you.


End file.
